Thinking about suicide while having sex...

this is a blog about nothing. but also... everything.


We are just messing around with this to see what happens...

Thursday, November 09, 2006


And they say,
Note to self don't carry on,
Give up and runaway.
Can't you see your hope is gone,
There's no more talk of a brighter day.
And truth is,
Times can just get worse,
I pray that you will stay.
There's something you should know,
Love changes with everyday.

....ya...i wrote it in like 2 min. i kinda like it....mayb a chorus? idk....let me know

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

A Lasting Impression, A Seething Depression

The other day I stepped out of bed feeling normal. I walked into the bathroom and took my morning piss. I walked back into my room and put on some clothes. I was at the top of the stairs preparing to descend when I realized that the stairs I was planning to go down were not where they should be. They were on the other side of the bathroom. In fact, the room I had earlier thought was the bathroom was not the bathroom at all. It appeared to be a bedroom. And what was worse was, what I had thought was the toilet was actually my girlfriend's father's face. Needless to say, he is no longer the father of my girlfriend... he is just this guy that I pissed on.

The moral of the story is: Always be fully aware of whether you slept at your own or your girlfriend's house or your morning routine will get the best of you.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Cellar Door

Think of the worst thing you possibly can...

Now think of something ten times worse...

If you are able to do this, then the first thing you thought of was NOT the worst thing you could think of dumbass. Seriously, it does not make any kind of fucking sense at all to be able to think of something ten times worse than the worst thing you can think of.

Stupid people running the world and shit. I bet they never thought of that. I'm some kind of fucking genius or something.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Sell Yourself Short

We die lonely deaths in the bedroom sreaming, holding our infected arm while the drug's injecting.

Think about that and try to sleep tonight...

You can't, can you?

Haha- fuckers

Friday, May 05, 2006

Dammit Jim!

A man walks into a store and slips on a puddle of slushie that has leaked out of the machine. The lack of a "caution, wet floor" sign ensures a law suit.

Why can't people just deal with stuff? Seriously, whoever said "shit happens" is a bloody, fucking genius. People are just completely too dramatic. "Oh no, I fell and stoved my finger! I'm gonna sue you!"

Fucking gay...

Monday, May 01, 2006

Conjugal visits

Wow, prison sucks enough already without having my cow wife show up every thursday for fat people sex. Like it's not enough that my son is a flamboyant theatrical prodigy and my daughter is a lesbian. I mean, Jesus, come on. At least leave with a little dignity. Don't show up every thursday so the guards can laugh while they watch us fornicate through the two-sided mirror. Seriously, I would imagine watching us have sex is more vomit-inducing than watching the movie Hostel. And Hostel is pretty fucking gross...

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Girls in short skirts

Short skirts get me... they really do.

I am a sucker.

I was walking down the street and saw the most beautiful girl ever. I said "hi" and she said "hey go fuck yourself." I replied that maybe I would just rather fuck her and she slapped me and screamed.

A very large black man ran over and tackled me onto the sidewalk. He asked the girl if she was alright and she gave him the ol' "well I am now" bullshit and they walked away hand in hand while I was lying on the ground, bleeding everywhere.

I bet he had sex with her that night.